Encouragement Through Positive Communication

As children reach their high school years and their independence grows, parents need to change the way they speak to their kids. Sometimes, parent-student conversations can be challenged, as students have new interests, ideas and approaches to life and learning.  A positive tone, and encouraging language, is key.
Educators and counselors agree that teens value being heard, not lectured. Even those who are eager to excel academically don’t want every experience turned into a “teachable moment.” This is especially true when talking with family.

Parents can take part in active and respectful listening - which simply means tuning in to what students have to say and, at times, to what they are feeling. The best response for parents is empathy, not answers, when teens share their new ideas and feelings. Active listening, repeating back what your student said to you, is a healthy and effective way to clarify meaning. By repeating words back to the speaker, you’re showing you heard him or her and that you acknowledge how he or she is feeling.

The ability to stay calm is critical to keep the communication lines open. Resist the urge to question, judge and criticize when you learn something new about your teen’s interests. Encourage your student to learn as much as possible about new interests or fields of study, and suggest finding out things together. That lets your son and daughter know your support is unconditional.